


The Sobs of A Sparrow

by Hello_Im_Death



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Adam is a RAPSCALLION, Both of them, Car Show, Crowley And Aziraphale take Warlock in, Crowley Goes to a Car Show, Crowley burns things when he's stressed, Crowley is a danger noodle, Crowley totally can cook, F/M, First work - Freeform, How Do I Tag, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Idiots in Love, Ineffable Antichrists (Good Omens), Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, The Them - Freeform, There is no Smart One, Warlock Angst, Warlock knew, because he totally would
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:01:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24965629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hello_Im_Death/pseuds/Hello_Im_Death
Summary: Warlock Dowling was a good boy. But good people don't always know that they're good. Warlock was like that. He tried not to be good, but he had reason.He didn't do it for his weird Nanny that told him that all life existed for him to crush under his heel. He didn't do it to make fun of others. He didn't do it to make himself feel better. He did it to try and get his parents to notice him.
Relationships: Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer, Aziraphale & Warlock Dowling, Crowley & Anathema Device, Crowley & Warlock Dowling, Crowley/Aziraphale, Nanny Ashtoreth & Warlock Dowling, Warlock Dowling & Brother Francis, Warlock Dowling & The Them (Good Omens), Warlock Dowling/Adam Young
Comments: 8
Kudos: 43





	1. A Trip is Planned

"We can't bloody leave him!" "I'm sure you're overreacting, my dear." 

If you wandered into the quaint rare-bookshop at this moment, you would be greeted with the sight of two men. At first, you wouldn't think much of it. Then you would look at them a second time. 

The first man was shorter than the other, and had light blonde hair, nearly white. He had on a coat that looked about three times as old as him, and fit in with the bookshop quite well. 

The second man was the taller one. He had red hair, and black clothes. And what exactly was that around his neck? The most interesting thing about him was his face. Where as the first man had a rather soft and kind face, this man had a sharp, harsh one. If you looked near his right ear there was a strange tattoo, and perched upon his nose was a pair of dark sunglasses. 

They were exact opposites. These men were Aziraphale Zira Fell and Anthony J. Crowley. However, if you truly knew them, you would know that those were not their names. They were simply Aziraphale and Crowley. 

But, nobody wandered into the bookshop. In fact, if you were to try and even look in the windows, you would feel a sudden urge to not look in the windows. 

Crowley narrowed his eyes beneath his glasses. "You don't know the worst of it, Angel. You weren't inside the house. I was. Every day, Angel." 

Aziraphale sighed, and turned to sit down in a chair that may or may not have been there a moment ago. "Dear boy I'm sure it wasn't that bad." 

Crowley hissed, tearing the dark stained glasses from his face. "Aziraphale, they were homophobes. They were sexist!" 

Aziraphale gasped slightly, widening his eyes. "Are you.. Are you sure?" Crowley nodded, flopping back into another chair that was most certainly not there before. 

"Once, when Mrs Dowling came shopping with me and Warlock, there was a couple. Two boys. She was disssgusted. She acted as if they were harasssing her! I took Warlock and left." Crowley sounded like he had suddenly gained a lisp, but when he stopped talking and started glaring a forked tongue slipped between his lips and flicked furiously. 

Aziraphale held a hand to his mouth. "But what will we do? We can't just take him, we aren't his legal guardians." 

Crowley smirked, flicking his tongue again. It wasn't angry this time, more mischievous. "You know, head office isn't on our asses now." 

Aziraphale narrowed his eyes, moving forward to smack Crowley's arm lightly. "Crowley! You-" but he paused, leaning back. "Oh, but it would work." 

Crowley laughed, and stood up. "It would! That's what's so great about it. Maybe a visit from the old Nanny and Gardener is due." 

Aziraphale couldn't help the smile growing on his face. "I suppose it is." Crowley grinned, flicking his tongue out once more. "Let's sleep first. We'll go tomorrow." 

Aziraphale stood up, walking towards Crowley. "That sounds like a wonderful idea, my dear." 

And in the blink of an eye (and the snap of a finger) the man was gone. 

Aziraphale sighed after a moment, adjusting his coat. "Dear boy.. what have I agreed to?" He sighed again, making his way up the stairs into the flat above his bookshop.


	2. A Trip is Made

Aziraphale clung to the handles above the door in the Bentley. 

"Slow down, dear boy!" Crowley huffed but did slow down, or, at least the Bentley did. 

"Crowley, are we there yet?" Aziraphale looked over, a slightly terrified expression on his face. 

"You sounds like a child, Angel." Crowley lifted a hand and snapped his fingers, and they appeared in front of one of the Dowling Estates. 

Crowley snapped his fingers again, and his appearance changed. 

His hair grew longer, and fashioned itself into a neat side bun. His lips adorned themself with a dark lipstick, and his clothes changed into a black dress. 

Aziraphale snapped his fingers as well (after taking off his coat, he didn't want to risk something happening to alter it in any way), and his teeth changed to be more crooked. His face grew sideburns, however they were more neat than before. His clothes changed, but not much. His waistcoat turned into a sweater vest, and his robin blue undershirt changed to become white, his bow tie disappearing altogether. 

The two stepped out of the car, and Crowley groaned, crouching to mess with her shoes. 

"Forgot about high heels." She huffed and stood up. Aziraphale chuckled and started for the door. 

When they reached the entrance Crowley knocked on the door, her face stern. They were let in and the two were led to a seating room. They waited for Warlock to appear. 

Aziraphale smiled when the long haired boy appeared, and Crowley attempted to hide the corners of her lips as they upturned. 

"How nice to see you, young master Warlock!" Warlock smiled slightly at Aziraphale, stowing his phone in his pocket. 

"Where have you two been? I haven't seen you the last two weeks.." the smile turned into a frown. 

"Oh, dear, I'm afraid we had a problem with.. family issues." Crowley frowned with her own words, moving a hand forward in a comforting gesture. Warlock looked skeptical. 

"Both of you? At the same time?" Aziraphale nodded apologetically. "I'm afraid so, young master Warlock. I'm sorry we couldn't say goodbye." 

Warlock chuckled, and walked over to them. "It's alright. Just don't do it again. Please." 

And in that moment Crowley locked eyes with Aziraphale, nodding slightly. But Aziraphale didn't need it. He could hear the betrayal in Warlock's voice. 

"Warlock, darling, would you like to come with us for a small trip?" Warlock looked over to Crowley, and nodded. 

"Of course, Nanny. Where are we going?" Crowley smiled slightly, and stood up. She helped Warlock up and nodded to Aziraphale. After looking around, Aziraphale snapped his fingers, and they were in his Bookshop back in London. 

"Home." 

Warlock fell to the ground, his eyes wide. He looked around them, gasping at the change of scenery. 

"What.. did you.. did you just do that?" Aziraphale nodded, before looking over to Crowley. "Oh dear, I'm afraid we've spooked him." 

Crowley sighed and snapped his own fingers, turning him and Aziraphale back to normal. 

"There we go. Darling, I need you to calm down. I know this might be weird, but you have to know." He looked over to Aziraphale, and two pairs of wings unfurled from both their backs. 

"We're not human. I'm a Demon, and he's an Angel." Warlock nodded, sitting up. "I figured something like that." 

Now it was their turn to look shocked. "You.. you knew?" Warlock narrowed his eyes. 

"You weren't exactly subtle. Nanny, you were always on about how the forces of hell were my armies, and Brother Francis, you always talked about how I had to respect all of god's creatures. And there's at least two times where you two were talking when I had my back turned about stuff like god's plan, and what 'head office' would think." 

Crowley rose a hand to his face. "We're idiots." Aziraphale sighed and sat down in an armchair. "Yes. Well, I suppose we should reintroduce ourselves. I'm Aziraphale, and his name is Crowley." 

Warlock nodded slowly, looking down. "Uhm, Crow.. Crowley? Do you mind if I still call you Nanny?" 

Crowley chuckled. "Of course not, kid." Warlock smiled. "But, why tell me now? Not some other time?" 

Aziraphale frowned. "Well, we were thinking, and thought you should know, dear." Crowley narrowed his eyes and sighed. "Well, I guess we should go back." Warlock frowned at Crowley's words. 

"Alright. Are you gonna stay here?" He said, looking over sadly. "Of course not, we'll be going with you, dear." Aziraphale said, smiling. "I suppose we should turn back, Crowley." 

Aziraphale sighed and snapped his fingers, changing him and Crowley back into Brother Francis and Nanny Astoreth. "Let's go, dear boys." 

A second snap and they were back in the seating room. "Okay, this is all really weird.." Warlock chuckled. "But I guess weird can be good." He brushed his hair behind his ears. "Do you want to talk? We could go out into town..?" Crowley smiled slightly. "Of course, Darling." She walked to Warlock and took his arm, leading him towards the door. "I think that's a lovely idea."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am claiming Warlock as my son. He is my son now.


	3. A Sparrow is Born

Warlock Dowling was a good boy. But good people don't always know that they're good. Warlock was like that. He tried not to be good, but he had reason. 

He didn't do it for his weird Nanny that told him that all life existed for him to crush under his heel. He didn't do it to make fun of others. He didn't do it to make himself feel better (In fact, he felt quite bad while he was doing it, at times). He did it to try and get his parents to notice him. 

At the moment, Warlock was in his bed. But he wasn't sleeping. In fact, he was wide awake, cursing the silence. Silence made him think. Silence brought out his worst fears. 

Warlock wiped his eyes and got out of bed. He sniffled quietly and stepped into the hall. Warlock started walking, and though he was tempted to head towards the room where Nanny was sleeping, he didn't. He walked towards his Father's office. He stood in the doorway, looking at Thaddeus Dowling. 

"H-hey, Dad.." Thaddeus looked up, turning towards him. "Oh, hello son." Warlock winced slightly, but stepped forward. "I, uhm, I was crying.." Warlock muttered the last bit, looking down. 

Thaddeus turned back to his work. "Boys don't cry. Why were you?" Warlock winced again. "Uhm, I.. I wasn't.. I was thinking about you, and why you're never there.." Thaddeus grunted, not turning to face Warlock. "I have work, you know that." 

Warlock shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah, but you never try to make time.." Thaddeus huffed. "Sure I do, Warlock. I try." "Is it really that hard to just know that you love me too? Were you ever really true? You're just an actor.. what do you want me to do, Dad?" 

Thaddeus turned, narrowing his eyes sternly. "What do you want, young man?" Warlock could feel the tears gathering in his eyes again. He wanted to run from him. To find Nanny and welcome her embrace. 

"Will I ever be perfect for you?" Thaddeus didn't say anything. He turned back to his work. "I love you, but it's like you don't love me back, and you make me feel bad.. It's like, it's like you aren't glad to see me, and I don't understand.." The tears were rolling down his face now, and he was trying not to completely break down. 

"Just go back to bed, Warlock." 

Warlock turned and ran from the office. He ran straight down the hall, past his room. He stopped in front of Nanny's room, reaching for the handle. But he stopped himself there too. He walked back to his room and laid down on his bed, letting his quiet sobs fill the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it's short.


	4. A sparrow Gains It's Wings

Warlock Dowling was a sad boy, and being forced to take a picture with his 'family' didn't help. 

Warlock scoffed as the photographer told him where to stand. His hair was slicked back, and it was uncomfortable. He had to wear clothes that were old in style. 

Warlock felt his parents hands on his shoulders, and he narrowed his eyes, glaring at his shoes. 

"Alright, everybody look at me!" The photographer smiled, holding his camera up to his face. Warlock looked up, his face blank. The photographer snapped a few photos. 

Thaddeus looked down to Warlock and scoffed. "Don't look so daft, boy." Warlock looked up to glare at Thaddeus. 

"Why do you care?" He said, clenching his hands into fists at his side. "I don't want you to mess up the photos." Thaddeus sighed. "Come on, let's go back." 

Thaddeus took Warlock's wrist and dragged him back to the car, sitting in the backseat of the limousine. Warlock huffed angrily, crossing his arms as he leaned back. Harriet sighed as she sat next to Thaddeus. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They walked into the house and stopped in the seating area.

"What do you want from me?" Warlock's voice was barely a whisper, but his parents still heard him. "What did you say, Warlock?" Harriet looked over, undoing her hair as she spoke. 

"What do you want from me?!" Warlock shouted angrily. Thaddeus narrowed his eyes. "I want you to behave." 

Warlock groaned, and held his hands above his head. "Maybe pay attention to me, then! Who, exactly, do you want me to be? Cause guess what, I'm not the perfect child. Nobody is! Will you ever tell me what I need to do for you to acknowledge me?" 

Thaddeus scoffed and turned away. "Behave, then." Warlock could feel the tears gathering in his eyes again. 

"What is wrong with me? What do you see in me? I can be anything you want." Thaddeus didn't say anything. "Look, anything..!" Still no words. 

"Please.." 

Thaddeus sighed and turned back. "Go to your room. No words." The tears rolled down Warlock's face and he whimpered quietly, turning around to walk up the stairs.

When he reached the top he walked past his room and stopped in front of Nanny's. This time, when he reached to knock, he didn't stop. 

Crowley opened the door, and before she had a chance to say anything Warlock had dove into her arms. She quickly took him inside, sitting down on the bed. She gathered Warlock onto her lap and hugged him, rocking back and forth slowly. 

"It's alright darling. You're alright." Warlock didn't say anything, he just sobbed quietly into Nanny's embrace. "What happened, darling?" Warlock stopped enough to respond. "I love them so much.. but they make me feel bad.." Crowley sighed. 

"I knew they weren't good people, but this is too much. Me and Aziraphale were thinking, and.. well, we are always open. You could come live with us." Warlock looked up, and he smiled sadly. "That would be nice.. I'd love too." 

Crowley chuckled, and wrapped her arms around him, kissing the top of his head gently. "I'll let Angel know tonight. I love you." They kept rocking until Warlock fell asleep.


	5. Love Has no True Form

Aziraphale smiled to himself as he walked up to Crowley. They were back in London, and upon the acquisition of Warlock had decided on buying that quaint cottage they had been thinking about for a while. Aziraphale has miracled a few of his armchairs into the house, and Crowley his throne and plants (who had gotten a large green house outside). 

Crowley smiled at the space outside the house. He had room for a garden now, something he never could have had without a hassle back in his flat. 

Crowley looked over to Aziraphale and grinned. "Hey Angel. I think this is gonna be nice." Aziraphale chuckled. "Me too, dear. Shall we go get Warlock?" He said, and Crowley could practically feel the energy streaming out of the angel. "Sounds good. Let's go." 

A quick snap of their fingers and they were back outside the Dowling estate. Crowley stepped up to the door and knocked. They were let in, for what they hoped to be the last time. Warlock came down the stairs. He had a satchel. 

"I'm ready to go." Aziraphale smiled. "Do you want to tell them?" He asked, standing up to place his hand upon Warlock's shoulder. Warlock nodded shakily. "I don't want to just disappear. I want then to know why. Can.. can you make it so that they know I'm still their son, but they don't think that they have custody over me? Something like that?" 

Crowley nodded, and they led Warlock into an empty storage room. He snapped his fingers, and Thaddeus and Harriet Dowling were standing in front of them. 

"What the fuck?!" Thaddeus shouted, backing away as he did. "I don't know what's happening, but I'm calling the cops!" 

In a swift motion, Crowley was at his neck. Two large wings had sprouted from his back, and were spread out menacingly. "You won't do anything of the sort. You are going to listen to what Warlock has to say, _and you are going to listen well."_ Thaddeus nodded, his eyes wide with fear. 

"Mom, dad.. I'm sorry I never was what you wanted me to be. And I love you, I love you a lot.. but you don't love me back. You make me feel terrible about myself. 

You argue all the time about what you're going to do with me, and.. and I can't stay. Dad, you hit me sometimes. It hurts. 

And Mom, you never cared. I knew that dad was busy, but you had time. Time you didn't want to spend with me. I love you both so much, but Aziraphale and Crowley.. they've been more parents to me than you ever have. 

They're helping me crawl out of this.. this shame that you made me have. I'm going to go live with them. You two might be good parents for someone, but you aren't to me. I love you, but I have to go. I had a curtain up, and at this moment, that curtain falls. It's okay. I love you. Goodbye." 

Thaddeus scowled. "You think I care, boy? You've been nothing but a pain in my side. Go ahead! Go leave with these psychopaths!" 

Aziraphale turned to Warlock. "Warlock, dear, would you mind leaving the room for a moment?" Warlock nodded and stepped out. 

"Thaddeus. Do you truly think that this is okay?" Thaddeus scoffed. "What, he's a boy. He has to be tough, and if he can't handle tha-" 

"Shut up. Shut the _fuck_ up." Soon, Crowley's wings weren't the only thing strange in the room. Several eyes opened around Aziraphale as he spoke. His wings unfurled, except this time he had two extra pairs. More eyes opened along his face and wings. "The boy is no longer under your care. He shall be in our care, for the following eternity." 

Crowley's eyes widened. He had never seen Aziraphale so furious. He'd seen his true form once or twice before, but the glowing beast that Aziraphale was, paired with the rage he clearly held, was terrifying. It wasn't only terrifying, but enlightening. 

The feelings that Crowley had tried so hard to destroy from the beginning resurfaced. But this was a lie. And Crowley knew that it was a lie. They had never gone away, no matter how much he had told himself that 'demons don't love,' he always knew that Aziraphale was what he wanted. 

Crowley mentally slapped himself. _He doesn't want you. You already messed up your chance._ He grinned, moving to stand beside Aziraphale. He would never be able to love him, but he could stand with him as a friend. 

Thaddeus was at the point of fainting, but he didn't. Aziraphale made sure of it. After a moment, the eyes closed, and the wings folded into themselves. "He is not your child anymore. He is ours now." And then they were outside with Warlock. "What happened?" Warlock asked, his eyes wide with curiosity. "Nothing you need to worry about, dear." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Warlock could feel the tears gathering as he saw his new room. "Thank you.." he turned around to give a wary hug to Crowley and Aziraphale. "Thank you so much.." the two beings smiled and hugged him back. "It's alright, kid. We love you." Crowley rubbed Warlock's back as he talked, and gave him a quick kiss on the top of his head. "Oh, we do. More than you realize, Warlock." Aziraphale added.

And three stood, hugging each other in a comfortable silence. When Warlock fell asleep, Crowley laid him in his bed, and turned off the lights. 

Aziraphale and Crowley went to the living room and sat down, looking at each other. "I'm glad we did this." Crowley nodded in agreement. 

"We got him out of a bad situation." He said, watching Aziraphale nod and hum thoughtfully. 

"It was much worse than we thought. Crowley, perhaps you are nicer than you'd like to admit." He chuckled, and Crowley hissed slightly. "Don't make me get up, Angel." 

Aziraphale narrowed his eyes mischievously. "I would hate to disturb you, but I'm afraid I think it's true." Crowley stood up, raising an eyebrow warningly. 

"Aziraphale." Aziraphale stood up as well. "Crowley." 

He chuckled. "You are quite kind, aren't you." Crowley took a step forward. Aziraphale took one back. "You could have left Warlock in that situation, take the evil route, but you made sure that he would be alright." 

Aziraphale had been stopped by the wall. Crowley took another step forward. "I'm warning you, Aziraphale." His tongue slipped between his lips to flicker mischievously. "I know you won't do anything, dear. You're too _nic-"_

In a split second, Crowley had grabbed Aziraphale's shirt and was holding him against the wall. "You know I'm not." The room was dark, and neither noticed the blush rising on each other's faces. 

"You're nice, Angel." Aziraphale chuckled. "Crowley, dear.." he reached up and took the tinted glasses off of his face. Crowley's eyes were not quite sad. They had a longing in them. 

"Aziraphale, I'm sorry." He stepped back. "Why are you sorry?" 

"You don't want this. You never did." Aziraphale stepped towards Crowley. "What do you mean..?" 

"You don't love me, Aziraphale. And I'm a bassstard that can't realize that. Dammit Angel, I've been praying ssince the beginning. Praying that there would even be a chance that you might love me back." Crowley hissed, and his eyes gained a shine. 

"Oh Crowley, I do.. I think I have since the beginning as well, I just didn't realize. Crowley, I do, but what about.. what about heaven, and hell? What will they do about us?" Crowley could feel his eyes widen again. "Angel, they won't do anything. They can't. We're.. we're free now." 

Aziraphale held a hand to his face, covering his mouth. Crowley stepped forward slowly, opening his arms. Aziraphale stepped forward as well, letting Crowley wrap his arms around him. 

"I'm so sorry, my dear." Crowley squeezed him tighter. "Don't be. I'm fine." Aziraphale looked up and placed a gentle hand on Crowley's cheek. Crowley pushed into it, enjoying the warmth it supplied his cold face. "Let's go to the Ritz. Tomorrow, consider it our first.. our first date?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we have an ineffable confession! Please comment your thoughts, I want to know what you think of this.


	6. Like a Weed

What had _happened_ last night to put him in such a state? After a few more confused blinks, he remembered. 

Crowley and him had simply held each other in a warm embrace. No words were spoken after Crowley's invitation to the Ritz. 

It was like the day he realized his love for the wily old serpent, words that masqueraded as a question, but both parties knew that it was all but. They were a statement. It wasn't a question that Crowley would take the flustered Angel back to his bookshop, and it wasn't a question that Aziraphale would accept his invitation. 

The hug they shared was a simple thing. One might confuse it for an embrace shared by good friends, if it hadn't lasted for so long. Aziraphale supposed that he must have fallen asleep in the comfortable silence, and his heart warmed when he realized that his (occasionally) serpentine friend had most likely put him in his room, which, surprisingly had a soft bed in it now. 

Aziraphale enjoyed the simple pleasures of a (mostly) human life, sleeping included, but he had never quite gotten himself into the routine of putting himself to bed, and when he fell asleep, if he did so, it was most likely in a comfortable chair or at his desk, while he was reading a book. When he would most likely stay up reading to fall asleep in whatever chair he had sat himself in, what really was the point of a bed? 

Besides, back at his bookshop, he had several very comfortable couches in the back he could easily lay down to rest on, if he so wished. 

Aziraphale shook himself from his rambling thoughts. _Is that.. Bacon?_ He inhaled again, sniffing the air wafting from what was presumably the kitchen. _And pancakes?_

He got up and miracled his normal clothes on. He hurried out of his room and down the stairs towards the kitchen. 

When Aziraphale arrived, he was greeted with the glorious sight that was Crowley _cooking._ The demon had clearly put no thought or effort into his appearance, he wore the same clothes as he had during his trial, strange socks and all, but it still stunned Aziraphale. 

His movement was just on the brink of chaotic, but still so organized. Warlock was sitting at the counter. Crowley turned to see Aziraphale. 

"Hey, Angel. The bacon is pretty much done, and the pancakes are nearly there." He turned back to the stove. "You.. You can cook.?" 

Crowley looked back over, his serpentine eyes darting, although his relaxed stance did little to convey the slight nervousness his eyes betrayed him. 

"Well, there's a lot of things that can go wrong with cooking. To be able to.. maximize its potential for evil, I'd have to know how it works." He answered nonchalantly, turning back to his pans. 

"You just wanted to be able to impress Aziraphale." "Shut it!" 

Crowley hissed, holding the spatula he was going to use for the pancakes out at Warlock threateningly. 

"He was probably planning something like making all the food go rotten, then when you two couldn't eat out, he'd offer to cook for you." Warlock smirked, raising his head from where it was laying on the counter. 

"You're a little bastard. I'd be proud if it wasn't directed at me." Crowley huffed, sliding the pancake on to a plate, and putting some bacon to go with it. "You get one for now, for being a little bastard. I'll get you ice cream later." 

Warlock smiled at him, muttered a quiet 'thank you,' and went to sit down at the table. Aziraphale turned back to Crowley. 

"Thank you for cooking, anyways. I'm sure Warlock appreciates it." Crowley raised an eyebrow. 

"What do you mean? I'll be done with your plate in a second." Aziraphale looked slightly more than shocked. 

"Blehg, you two are gross. Ruined my appetite." Warlock stood up with a wide grin. He took his plate and walked over next to Aziraphale, contemplating pushing him towards Crowley, but figured it wasn't a good idea. 

Crowley was making food, and if he had the chance for more bacon and pancakes he'd take it, and he'd prefer that those pancakes and bacon didn't have to be eaten while they were kissing. Aziraphale chuckled. He wished he could spend eternity with the other two.

_Then he realized he could._

**Then he realized he couldn't.**

Aziraphale sighed, but he smiled again. He wasn't going to let the happy morning be ruined. 

Crowley rose an unimpressed eye brow and took his plate, setting it next to the plate waiting to be adorned with pancakes and bacon. 

He looked back at the two standing next to each other. Both had a longing in their eyes, although Warlock didn't even bother hiding that he was staring blatantly at the pans. Crowley finished the second pancake and slid it on to Aziraphale's plate. 

He lifted it experimentally, and watched with satisfaction as both of their head followed the plate like a dog's would. He scoffed affectionately and tossed some bacon on. 

"There's butter and syrup on the table, you do what you want with it." Crowley said. He handed the plate to Aziraphale. "Warlock, you can have the rest of the bacon if you want, I'm not making more pancakes." 

Warlock groaned but did take the rest of the bacon into his hands, chomping down on a piece happily. 

"Aren't you going to eat something, my dear?" Aziraphale asked, smiling at the man now seated across from him. Crowley made a noncommittal grunt. 

"Don't really got a use for it. I'll snack on stuff sometimes." He said, waving away the subject. "Oh, well that won't do. You made these, you should at least try them!" Aziraphale huffed, pouting ever so slightly. Crowley frowned. 

"I'm good, foods not my thing." He leaned back, slouching lazily in his chair. "Oh, Crowley. You really are so stubborn some times." Aziraphale furrowed his brow, cutting a small square from the pancake. He took the syrup and poured it on his pancake, including the square. A dam of butter, and he held it out for Crowley. 

"What are y- Ngk!" Crowley was cut off when the piece of food had snuck into his mouth. He swallowed without a thought, glaring at Aziraphale. 

"I have two bastards in my house." Both boy and angel stared in a mixture of impression and mild terror. 

"Nanny, you didn't chew that." Crowley blinked, looking at Warlock. "Yeah?" He sat up slightly, although he was still very much draped over his chair in an informal fashion. 

"That was a small piece, but did you even taste it? Normal.. I think even I would choke on that." Aziraphale murmured. Crowley blinked again. 

"Well, I tasted the syrup. I still have some on my tongue.." he raised his eyebrows and rolled his head back. "But that's about half the reason I don't usually eat things. It all goes down in one." 

Crowley knocked his chair back as he stood up quite suddenly. "Wow, that is not the same as my throne." He righted the chair and headed to his bedroom. "I'm getting dressed. You need to as well, Warlock. We're going to the bookshop." Aziraphale snapped his head to Warlock. He hadn't noticed the boy was still in his pajamas.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When the odd trio arrived at Aziraphale's bookshop, the atmosphere welcomed them, and seemed to rejoice at Warlock. The whole bookshop shifted its attention to the boy. Warlock couldn't help but smile at the messy interior, Aziraphale had put more of himself into Brother Francis than he realized. 

He looked through the shelves. "All of these are yours?" Aziraphale nodded proudly. Warlock gasped. "Can I.. Can I read some?" 

He looked at the floor, his voice quiet. Aziraphale smiled. "Of course, dear boy. Just be mindful, some of them are _very_ old." 

Warlock grinned and picked a few books out, settling into a comfortable chair. He opened one and began to read. Aziraphale watched him affectionately. 

"Well, I suppose we should open the shop." He sighed and moved towards the front door, flipping his sign to 'open' and unlocking the door. Crowley followed him, searching for a good chair to sprawl out on. 

"What time is it?" He asked, looking at his watch. "7:30? Nobody's going to come looking at some bookshop at _seven,_ Angel." Aziraphale waved his hand as if to dismiss him. "Oh hush, that's the point." 

Crowley snorted and shifted into his snake form, sliding over to Aziraphale. 

_"Do you not want to sssell any booksss, Angel?"_ The slow, hissing voice found its way into Aziraphale's ears, and a forked tongue flicked out. Crowley lifted his head onto Aziraphale's shoulder, using it to slither himself around his neck, and into his arms. Aziraphale chuckled and patted Crowley's head. 

"It appears I do not, you wily serpent." He answered. He walked to one of the windows and deposited the currently-a-snake man in the beams of sunlight. "I'm sure it will be quite warm there, dear boy." _"You're better. Warmer."_ Crowley hissed, curling around himself. Aziraphale leaned down to give him another pat. 

"I suppose you'll just have to make do." A ringing of the little bell over the door captured his attention, and Aziraphale walked towards them, either to make pleasant conversation or dissuade them from buying a book. It could go either way, depending on the people's intentions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn't quite a yank. But by the squeal Warlock made you would have thought it was. 

"Who are you?" The voice came from behind Warlock's chair, and he spun around to catch the culprit who had touched his hair. 

"Why were you pulling on my hair?!" The boy, who looked about his age, lifted his hands. "You weren't answering me." "So you pulled on my hair?" 

The boy shrugged, and grinned. "It got you to notice me." "Why couldn't you just tap me on the shoulder?!" Warlock spat accusingly. The boy shrugged. 

"Dunno. What's your name? I'm Adam." Warlock paused, as if to think of what to answer. "Warlock. My name is Warlock." Adam gasped, leaning closer. 

"Really? That's a cool name! _Are_ you a warlock, or is that just your name?" Warlock scooted back in his chair. "Just my name." 

Adam nodded thoughtfully. "That's still neat. One of the books I've wrote had a warlock in it. He fought the evil sea witch." Warlock rose a skeptical eyebrow. "You wrote a book?" 

Adam nodded, leaning back. "I've written loads. My friends liked them. Although pepper did say I should have more girl main characters. She liked the one with the battle princess." He grinned as he talked, messy golden curls bouncing with every turn of his head. 

"Have you seen Mr. Crowley? Mr. Fell told me he would be around here. He's a big tall angry lookin' man. He wouldn't hurt anybody, though." Warlock nodded, having a good idea of who 'Mr. Fell' was, even though he had never heard Aziraphale address himself as such. 

"He's either in the back or on one of the chairs." Warlock stood up, putting the book he was reading on his chair. The two walked around the shelves, stopping at a sunlit patch, with a large snake curled up in it. 

"Is it awake?" Adam asked, creeping closer. "Snakes don't have eyelids. I think it's asleep." Warlock responded.

The snake twitched, and Adam jumped back. It stirred again, and lifted its head, shaking it slightly. 

_"Adam..? Warlock? What are you two doing here..?"_ A sleepy voice rose from it. Warlock tilted his head. "Nanny? You can turn into a snake?" 

The snake managed to look confused despite its lack of eyelids. It looked down at itself and then sighed, slowly changing back into the more familiar human shape of Crowley. 

"Must've fallen asleep like that. What are you doing here, Adam?" Warlock blinked. "You know him?" Now everybody had a confused look. 

"'M stopping this now. Adam, this is Warlock. Warlock, Adam. Adam is the Antichrist. We _thought_ Warlock was." 

A bit more explaining and it was cleared up. Adam laughed. "Funny coincidence, that." Warlock nodded. 

"It's nearly noon. Weren't you going to go to lunch with Azriaphale, Nanny?" Warlock asked as he turned to Crowley. Crowley's mouth hung open for a few moments. 

_"Shit!_ Adam, your mum is here? Alright. Warlock, you mind if I drop you off with a friend?" Warlock nodded, and all of a sudden they were in front of a small cottage. 

"Aight I can't go in, you go knock on the door." Warlock rose an eyebrow at Crowley, but went and knocked on the door. After a few moments Anathema answered. "Yes? Oh, hello." Warlock nodded in greeting, and Crowley wove a hand above his head. "'Nathema! You're watching Warlock, okay? Okay! Bye, love you Warlock!" And he was gone in a flash. 

"..."

"I'll go get the cookies." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_"Shitshitshitshit!"_

Crowley stumbled back into the bookshop and ran to the front, where Aziraphale was in the middle of convincing a couple not to buy a book. 

"Aight, everybody out! Shop's closing!" A few groans and glares were thrown at Crowley, but Aziraphale gained a slight twinkle in his eye, happy to have been saved from parting with this book. 

"Yes, yes. I'm afraid he's right, dear people. Perhaps I'll see you tomorrow!" After the people were done filing out of the bookshop, and Aziraphale had placed the book back in its place, he looked back to Crowley. 

"Thank you, my dear. I'm afraid those people were dreadfully persistent." His smile was radiant, and Crowley couldn't help but huff affectionately at the angel. 

"That actually wasn't why I did that. It's.. it's noon. Lunchtime." Crowley shoved his hands in his pockets and rolled his head back, care-free. 

"Oh, yes! We were going to go for lunch. At the Ritz." If it was even possible, Aziraphale managed to smile even brighter. 

"Yeah. I've dropped Warlock off at Anathema's. They'll take care of him." Crowley let a hint of a smile gather on his face. Aziraphale stepped forward and linked his arm with Crowley's. 

"Ngk!" Aziraphale ignored Crowley's surprised noise and turned to beam at him. "Well, I suppose we should go, then? And I am not going in that car of yours."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't help but see Lemon Boy as the perfect song for both the main two idiots and Adam and Warlock. Idiots and Idiotsx2


	7. A Spot of Lunch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight warning for non-consent, starts at "Sorry Angel, there's a.. problem. Outside. Be back." It's only a little bit, though, just a man grabbing a woman's wrists. Then like two sentences of a cocky dude being beat up by Crowley.

Aziraphale smiled as he sat down. "It is quite a lovely day, isn't it, Crowley? You look quite handsome yourself, as well." Crowley nearly choked. 

“Uh, yeah. You're.. you're looking good too." Aziraphale's smile grew and he placed a hand on his chest, taking in a deep breath. 

"Oh, it's such a wonderful feeling. From those two, over there. I think that sweet girl is going to propose to them!" Aziraphale nodded to where a couple was sitting, a couple tables away. A woman was fumbling with something in her pocket, looking over at her lover with an expression of such longing. Crowley couldn't help but relate with that feeling. He sighed, of course Aziraphale would bring it up, even though the lunch date was supposed to be for them. He was an angel, he could sense love.

Wait a minute.

"Hold on, Angel. You can sense love, right?" Crowley sat up slightly, which wasn't much considering it was him, and he sat like he was melting. "Of course. I am an angel, am I not?" Crowley's face deadpanned for a moment.

Now I'm going to interrupt here to explain something quickly. All angels have the ability to sense love. Some may be better at it than others, because they have been on earth for longer, or more times. But they all have the ability. Crowley has loved Aziraphale since Eden, even if he wouldn't admit it to many people. But I would know. I know everything.

"Angel, I've loved you since the bloody apple tree! And you've never, not once in our entire existence on earth, noticed that I am practically pouring out adoration for you?" Aziraphale looked quite shocked. 

"Well, I'm not sure why. It's all quite the same, I do think." He said, rubbing the fabric of his coat between his fingers. Crowley put his head in his hand, thinking. 

"Of course.. Angel, I never wanted you to know. I wanted anything but that. I must have.. I must have blocked your signal thing out, so you could never feel it from me." Aziraphale nodded after a moment. "That would make sense I suppose, my dear." 

The two sat, talking, and after a waiter came, ordered their food. Or, Aziraphale ordered his food. Crowley got a glass of wine. Crowley let himself look a little lovesick as he watched Aziraphale eat his food. All of a sudden, the angel stood up very quickly. 

"I have to use the lavatory." Crowley nodded. "'Kay." He tapped his wine glass with his fingers a few times, before straightening up again. "But you don't even need to- oh bugger, he's already gone."  
•  
Aziraphale hurried out the entrance and into the street. He ducked into an alley and glared at the form in front of him. 

"What would you like? You've interrupted my lunch." The man sighed, stepping forward and putting his hand on Aziraphale's shoulder.

“Please. It's gotten chaotic. Gabriel won't shut up, Michael's ego is still bigger than a whale, Uriel is following Gabriel around, it's all just.. I need help, okay? Please, Az?" Aziraphale sighed and patted the other man's shoulder. 

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait. Come to the bookshop after I'm finished, I'll send Crowley home early." The man flinched at the name. 

"That's another thing. They really aren't happy about you and him. Gabriel and Beelzebub want to keep you apart to 'break their friendship. They won't be able to fight back.' I don't want you getting hurt, Az, because he decided to be your friend." 

Aziraphale chuckled nervously. "He isn't exactly my friend anymore. At least I hope so." 

The man lifted his brow. "You hope?" 

"You see, we've both.. well not discovered.. brought to attention a mutual longing for a romantic relationship." 

"Seriously?" 

"I can't help it! He's just so.. oh.. he's just Crowley!" The man chuckled. 

"It's alright. I still don't want him hurting you, though. If you have any problems, and I mean any, let me know." He said, backing up. 

"I will, brother. I will." And the figure was gone. Aziraphale sighed and made his way back to Crowley. 

"I apologize, dearest. There was something I had to address." Crowley nodded. "'S alright, Angel." He took another sip from his wine glass, finishing it off. 

Conveniently, a waitress was passing by. She looked at Aziraphale, noticing his glass was also empty. 

"Would you and your partner like some more wine?" She smiled brightly, and Aziraphale was quick to answer. "Oh he's not my-" he paused for a moment. "Yes. Yes we would. Thank you very much, dear." 

Crowley nearly choked again. The fact that Aziraphale had stopped declining the lady, pretty much implied that they were indeed a couple, had Crowley turning his face away very quickly and silently cursing the pink slowly painting his cheeks. He grabbed his phone from his pocket, suddenly very interested in something that had popped up. The wine arrived, and he hid his face with that. 

"It's a shame this will be over so soon. I know we've done this before, but now that we've... confessed our feelings, it feels special." 

Crowley choked this time.

"Dear boy, are you alright?!" Crowley hacked a few more times and gave Aziraphale a thumbs up. 

"What's it you say? Tickety-boo?" Aziraphale huffed indignantly. "You gave me a fright." Crowley shook his head, waving away the subject. "'M fine." 

Maybe he was thinking too hard about this. Probably, so many things circulated his mind that it was almost dizzying. 

He looked around, letting his tongue slip out, tasting the air for sin. Though the scent wasn't something that was exactly.. comforting, it was familiar. Hell was full of it, obviously, and he had been there since before time was created. A scent from outside. Panic, and lust. He raised an eyebrow and focused his attention on it. After a moment, he stood up quickly. That was where he drew the line. 

"Sorry Angel, there's a.. problem. Outside. Be back." He shoved his hands in his pockets and made his way out, into the alley home to the scent. He glared at the man gripping the girl's wrist. 

"I'd suggest you stop." Crowley's voice caught the man's attention, and he let go of the woman to walk towards him. 

"And I'd suggest you leave, and forget what ya seeing." Crowley sighed. They always made it harder. 

"Aight, we're doing this." He moved to walk past the man toward the woman, and was stopped by a firm arm on his shoulder. 

"What do ya think you're doing? You want a piece of the action?" The man smirked. The woman scrambled farther back. "Nah, I have an Angel to get back to, and I'd prefer to finish whatever you're trying to start." 

The man huffed, a confident grin falling in place. He obviously thought he could take the skinny man. Crowley took his glasses off, staring at them. He hummed thoughtfully and stored them in his pocket. The man lifted his fist, aiming at Crowley's face. "As you wish." And he punched.

"Hm. A punch isn't going to stop me." Crowley smirked, his eyes glowing slightly. He had caught the man's fist in the air. "I s'pose when you meet everybody else downstairs you'll figure that out." 

And the man was flung backwards. Crowley let himself return to the form he was in earlier, although he opted for the larger version. And that was how a forty-foot snake found himself wrapped around a very confused woman. With a flick of his tail, the man had blacked out. Crowley moves his large head to stare at the woman. 

_"Are you alright?"_ He hissed. She nodded, not trying to hide the bewilderment and fear in his eyes. "Ar.. are you some kind of angel?" Crowley snorted, changing back. "Definitely not an angel. Quite the opposssite." He said, outstretching his hand to pull her up and towards the street. 

_For you, Angel._ Crowley thought, waving his hand in front of her face. "You'll awake from a dream of whatever you like besst, or sssomething.." He muttered, and walked away (after situating his glasses back on his face).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aziraphale smiled at Crowley as they left the Ritz. "That was scrumptious, dear. Thank you, for taking me." The Angel said. 

"Yeah, no problem, Angel. Mind we take the car?" Crowley asked, nodding to the curbside, which now was housing the black machine he was so fond of. A ding from his pocket caught his attention, and he pulled his phone out. It was a text from Warlock. 

_'Thought you would like this.'_ Crowley clicked the link. It was coordinates. He frowned, why would he be interested in coordi- 

oh, hold on a moment. In less than a second they were in a different part of London, and Aziraphale stumbled slightly. "Crowley! Do warn me next time!" He scolded. 

"Please." Crowley looked to the side, where several cars of all fashions were in a park. "Angel, just this once. I want to make a fool of them." He begged. 

Aziraphale stood still, studying the strange event. "What.. what is this?" He asked, looking back at Crowley. The demon sighed. 

"Car show, motor show, plenty of names. Please let me go.." Though it thoroughly hurt his pride to beg, this was a day for both of them, and he didn't want to force Aziraphale into anything. "You can go home if you'd like." He added. Aziraphale thought for a moment. "We can go. Lunch was for me, this will be for you. Besides, I see some folks with a good sense of fashion." Aziraphale said, smiling. 

Crowley perked up, miracling tickets and a place with the other cars. A small side-miracle so the humans along them thought they'd been there the entire time, and he was good to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment. Please, I enjoy reading them.

**Author's Note:**

> This has a lot of inspiration from the song Hey Mama by nine. https://youtu.be/wx845r8AMMw It's a good song, and it fueled my headcanon of Aziraphale and Crowley going back for Warlock after the No-pocalypse.


End file.
